The recent nationwide knife amnesty yielded over 12,000 assorted knives, axes and swords around the country. Although guns are becoming more popular, I am encouraged that uses of such traditional weapons suggest a return toward medieval warfare on housing estates across the land. I imagine 14 year olds jousting on BMXs, using lances fashioned from painting poles, duck tape and craft knifes. Siege towers and trebuchets will soon follow I’m sure, built from pigeon coups, shopping trolleys and elastic bands dropped by posties. I may be romanticising this a bit, but only slightly.
I don’t get amnesties, why would you bother handing anything in during an amnesty? Even if I had a stash of weapons, I would probably be too apathetic to hand them in on time. Supposing I did though, supposing I’d filled several bags full of kalishnikoffs, broad-swords and an assortment of World War II artillery shells that I just never got round to throwing out, a bit like the bag of stuff you intend to go to the charity shop that sits for months in some corner of your flat. You put it off and forget, until before you know it, it the last day of the amnesty and you’re rushing to get down to the designated weapons amnesty zone, you get stuck in traffic, so you get down two minutes late… do they let you off or do you face the jail? Better to put said items back in the arsenal to gather dust rather than risk it I think.
