Leeks sold in packs of six- even in Wales they don't eat them in this quantity; unless you're Shirley Bassey. I couldn't bear the fact so many leeks would spoil, I would have to watch them wilt and discolour as I strained to combine them in a variety of meals to ensure their timely consumption- leeks with cereal, on toast, dipped in tea, soup, leek biscuits, I would be brushing my teeth with leeks, leeks, leeks, leeks; the possibilities were clearly endless. It would have been simpler had there been single leeks for sale- however they are naturally herd vegetables in the wild so I suppose solitary leeks are rare, unless its a rutting male, excluded from the herd they often 'shack up' with a shallot (who prefer their partners large); I looked for some shallots in the hope of catching it in flagrante delicto with a robust single leek; but to no avail. This really was taking the piss, spending a penny, taking a leek...yes, taking a leek...mmm...but that would be shoplifting... No! it would be emancipation, freed from it’s cellophane shackles, it’s transparent jail, cramped inhumane conditions... I mean in-leekane; packed like sardines...no that’s a small oily fish...crammed in like a pack…I mean herd of leeks. I decided there and then I would 'spring' a leek. I succeeded by slipping one inside a vase I keep with me for just such emergencies and when finally I brought his slender green body into the brilliant sunshine outside It became more than a mere comestible. He seemed to stare up at me coyly and thank me silently in humble leek fashion. I cradled him for a moment since it is rare to be so close to a wild and noble vegetable- then in a moment he was off, darting majestically into some nearby bushes, he glanced back at me briefly as tears of pride welled up in my eyes. It may have been the wind but just before he disapeared from sight I thought I heard the words 'thank you' in a falsetto welsh voice. I never saw him again.
